living my life...

I'm Singing Again...

2008-05-08T20:07:00.000+08:00

After over a year of not having sung onstage in a performance, I am once again returning to my first love and will be singing my heart out. Yes. I'm excited.

So if you love me, please watch:

Monday Night's New Voices
Monday (duh), May 12, 8:00 PM
Mag:Net Cafe High Street, the Fort
.
It will feature the voices of Nicolas Atienza (me!), Amos Francia, Pamela Imperial, Cinderella Mayo and Monica Reynoso.

Moreover, it will also feature the music of Mr. Vince De Jesus, the composer of musicals such as Himala, Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal and most recently Skin Deep.

It will be hosted by none other than Ms. Bituin Escalante and Mr. Rem Zamora.

Just a little reminder: the show begins at 8:00 PM with a 150 peso door fee, inclusive of 1 iced tea of beer. Please watch!

i've always wanted to do this...

2008-02-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

Can you name 30 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 30 people.*NO CHEATING*

1. mikel
2. pipo
3. mako
4. jio
5. bambi
6. ivan
7. mian
8. oli
9. sab
10. bea
11. andrei
12. kyla
13. toff
14. didang
15. emjo
16. mike
17. je
18. mahar
19. raffy
20. pom
21. gabs
22. marvin
23. jay
24. isis
25. tricia
26. jeric
27. lawrence
28. madel
29. jorja
30. marc peter baluyan

THE QUESTIONS:

• How did you meet 10?
I first met bea through my bestfriend mikel when he brought me to one of the block r parties.

• What would you do if you had never met 6?
i don't know. feeling siya eh.

• What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?
pom and emjo? ewan. they can do what they want. but i don't think it's ever gonna happen.

• If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?
either ivan or didang? didang na lang. babae siya at hindi feeling.

• Did you ever like 9?
sab? i still like sab. but sab likes me more than i like her.

• Have you ever seen 4 cry?
does teary eyed count?

• Would 4 and 17 make a good couple?
hahaha... siguro. maraming magagalit though. pero bading ata si jio eh. anong say mo bro? je... any complaints?

• Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple?
they already are. have been since... hmmm... forever?

• Describe 8
well she's self-admittedly sensitive. oli wag magalit. pero trip ko boses niya. at magaling siyang logan schwarzandgrubeniere.

• Do you like 12?
kyla? sure. why not... anything's possible naman diba? hahahaha... pero baka mag away lang kami eh. baka di niya matake na mas magaling akong kumanta kesa sa kanya.

• Tell me something about 17:
je is rumored to have topped our bath's acet. enough said.

• What's 7's favorite color?
mian? what else... eh di black!

• What would you do if 1 just confessed he/she liked you?
that's never gonna happen. but just in case it does... tatakbo ako. hindi niya ako mahahabol... chicken legs siya eh.

• When was the last time you talked to number 15?:
kanina lang. about four hours ago? batboy stuff...

• How do you think 19 feels about you?
raffy thinks i'm the shiznit.

• What language does 13 speak?
toff has a language all on his own.

• Who is 2 going out with?
mikel garcia. sorry les... hahaha...

• What grade is 16 in?
mike? well, he acts like he's in grade 4.

• What is 5's favorite music?:
bambi likes listening to the music of his heart. sabaw? ganon talaga si bambi

• Would you ever date 13?:
uh. no. and i think he wouldn't date me either. hahahaha...

• Is 11 single?:
i think so... :P

• What is 10's last name?
garcia.

• Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 7?
been there. done that. i left her. she's been crying ever since...

• Where does 18 live?:
grand villas.

• What do you think about 20?:
i used to be afraid of him. mukha siyang maangas at masungit eh. pero mabait pala siya. :)

• What is the best thing about 30?
he is marc peter baluyan, orsem host, ateneo idol...

• What would you like to tell 14 right now?:
stop being selfish. i need alone time with my roommate too you know?

• How did you meet 9?
we first became classmates at botany class, second sem of first year.

• What is the best and worst thing about 2?
he's the best... and he's the best... or at least he thinks he is. :P

• Are you going to know 3 forever?
how long is forever anyway? hahaha... malamang. i'll probably die first though.

• How long have you known 26?
about a year now, i guess.

• Who is 24?
isis is isis. double trouble.

• Are you or did you ever date 2?
that would be incestuous.

• Do you have a crush on 27?
oo. sobra. hot niya kasi eh.

• Would you kiss 25?
my hija? i guess. sa cheeks.

• Have you hugged/kissed 22?
hugged yes. kiss... magagalit si 25. pero kung sa cheeks. okay lang. hahaha...

• Would you like to hug/kiss 21?
hug? i might have already. not sure. kiss? if it's in an al pacino, godfather, sicillian type of manly kiss... why not? hahahaha...

• Is 29 your gff?
What's a gff? girlfriend forever? she's not my girlfriend.

• What do you hate about 23?
hindi na siya nagpapakita at nagpaparamdam.

• What's your relationship with 30?
he is marc peter baluyan, orsem host, ateneo idol... at com theory orals partner ko rin siya.

twenty things i want to say to certain people...

2007-11-01T14:59:00.000+08:00

twenty things i want to say to certain people...

i got this idea while surfing around multiply. i think i need this. the people to which these are aimed at will remain nameless. and don't try to guess...

1. i can’t get you out of my mind. it’s driving me crazy… i like it.

2. i tell everyone I’m over you… but i’m not… i don’t want to be.

3. my life would have been a whole lot better if i hadn’t met you.

4. i want to be with you… right now.

5. grow some balls, why don’t you.

6. i'm letting go.

7. just the thought that i just might see you today brightens up my day.

8. i hate it that you lied straight to my face. yes, i know…

9. i lied to you. i’m sorry.

10. just stay out of my room…

11. you’re a bitch. stay out of my life.

12. i hate it that you would choose to spend your time with someone else.

13. why’d you have to leave?

14. you are a deceiving, little, social-climbing, psycho bitch. karma’s gonna get the best of you…

15. i hate you for making me feel so bad about myself.

16. just smelling your scent turns me on.

17. i hate it that you have so much control over me and don't even know it.

18. i’m sorry for using you. but you’re just so easy to manipulate.

19. i know i don’t show it, but i really don’t know what i’d do if you weren’t in my life.

20. everytime i’m with you, i just wanna grab you and… god knows what. hahaha. i’m so serious, it's scary.

fluid review...

2007-09-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

fluid review

This is a review written by Ren Robles, professional theater actor and BlueRep alumnus. He was able to catch the 7pm show last September 1. It's very heartwarming. Read on...

September 3, 2007

RATING: 5 STARS.

The debate between Art and Commerce - and all that it entails - has always been a popular topic for artists to tackle in their works. What good is artistic integrity if one is hungry all the time? What good is "selling out" if it means compromising your beliefs? These are questions that have been asked by artists across place and time. This time, the place is the Philippines, the time is now, and the play is FLUID, as presented by the graduating class of the Ateneo Theater Arts Department.

Written and directed by Floy Quintos, the play opens with Amir (played by Jio Javier in the show I got to see), a young, talented, yet anonymous painter contemplating his artistic future. Just as he is about to make a very final decision, in comes Mira (Jasmine Mendiola) with a tantalizing offer: A large sum of cash as well as the promise of a solo exhibit, but only if he alters his style to please rich patrons. Next, we meet two young thespians, Alben (Nikko Atienza) and Jom (Gerauld Rivera). A generally happy and loving couple, the two have a brief spat over Jom's "controversial" plan: To audition for the Philippine production of "Rent." Jom thinks it'll be an exciting step in a new direction; Alben thinks it's needless selling-out. Finally, we encounter Simone (Diega Villanueva), an events coordinator tackling a huge wedding. Her best-laid plans go awry, though, when Renata (Trency Caga-anan), the coordinator for the Philharmonic, does a few last-minute changes to the repertoire. Much to Simone's dismay, all her "perfect" choices for music have been switched to classical music. All three stories come to a head two years later at Amir's one-man show. The events come quick, the pace is frenetic, and when the dust finally clears, everyone comes out of it more enlightened, if not a little bruised. (Obviously, I'm not spoiling it for all of you).

It would have been easy to write this play with an obvious bias towards Art, but as the title suggests (and as many artists can attest to), the debate is never an easy one, and there are rarely any absolute answers. The play accurately depicts the internal (and, at times, external) struggle without oversimplifying it. (Admittedly, the play DOES lean towards Art, but it can't be helped; it was written by an artist, after all.) None of the characters are absolute representations or metaphors for Art or Commerce. Each one presents a facet of both; the artistic have economic needs, the rich have aesthetic aspirations. The action is paced well, and there are no dull moments. There's also a good balance between gravitas and the frivolous; it's never too serious to be depressing, and never too slapstick to be disposable. The material is clever and witty, and there's a lot of unexpected humor (which, I suspect, only the well-read or those exposed to theater will understand and appreciate).

I must admit, I've never seen this play with the "older" cast mentioned in the program, so I wouldn't know how different this play is from the original. However, the younger cast definitely makes it work. It's easy to make Amir your typical Angry Young Man, but Jio adds some subtlety and sadness in his take of the character. There's one brilliant moment in the play where Jio quickly flinches, then says more with his eyes in one brief moment than he does with any lengthy monologue. Jasmine is appropriately composed and elegant as the "rich bitch" Mira, but thankfully, you also see glimpses of her humanity when she interacts with Amir, particularly at the start of the play. Gerauld's innocent look definitely works for his character, and he succeeds in pulling off his character's "growth" in the second act. Meanwhile, Nikko successfully expresses his character's insecurities amidst his cocky facade; indeed, Nikko shines in one of the play's most poignant monologues, one which any theater actor can probably relate to. Finally, Diega and Trency steal the show with their more obvious humor. Diega's ditzy Simone earns her huge laughs in pretty much every scene she's in, while Trency gets to be hilarious one moment then thoughful the next, without the shift being too jarring.

On the creative side of things, the production design made use of its limited space, and the use of white curtains was very, well, "artsy." It was an effective means of creating an additional back-"space" in the theater (if you've ever been to or worked in the Fine Arts Theater, you know what I mean), and it had another purpose of changing the settings quickly and effectively. The costumes captured each character accurately, whether it's Amir's paint-soiled outfit or Diega's flirty ensembles. The choice of music was also good, drawing attention to itself only when necessary.

In the end, FLUID makes a good argument about Art, Commerce, and the spectrum of decisions one has to make about the two. The play (and the playwright, by extension) definitely has its own stance on the debate, but by no means does it force you to accept it as the only choice. Everyone who watches will identify with a different character, or at least different facets of different characters. (For my part, I identify most with Alben, even if our backgrounds are almost complete opposites.)

I definitely recommend watching this play. It is entertaining, yes, but it also brings to life the dilemmas of every artist. Plus, if you watch, you also help a talented bunch of artists take a step closer to realizing their goals and dreams (the play also serves as a fund raiser for their thesis).

The play runs from Tuesday until Sunday at the Ateneo Fine Arts Theater, 3rd Floor Gonzaga Building. Shows are at 7pm on weekdays and Saturdays, and 2pm on weekends. Tickets are 150 pesos each.

(I'm selling tickets for the September 15, Saturday, 2pm show. If you want to watch, you know how to contact me.)

schroeder...

2007-04-22T19:33:00.000+08:00

schroeder...

2000-2007

schroeder just died. my dog just died. the dog that i've loved for seven years just died. and i really am sad...

frankly, i feel a bit stupid and silly for actually feeling this bad about the death of an animal. whenever i would see steve irwin sobbing over the death of one of his crocs on the animal planet, i always found him to be a bit over the top. but now that i'm actually the one who's in that kind of situation... i can't help but feel really bad as well. no, i'm not sobbing, crying or going hysterical. i haven't cried about anything in the longest time. maybe i should. i dunno...

anyway... i really will miss that big golden ball of fur. he was a really good dog. he was really smart. extemely playful. and he was the sweetest dog ever. he would even make tampo with me everytime i would forget to greet or play with him whenever i would get home. why? cuz he'd always be there faithfully and eagerly waiting for my arrival.

i will miss him pouncing on me leaving paw marks and fur all over my clean clothes. i will miss him barking up a storm whenever i would give him his food. i will miss him hiding under my bed (or at least trying to since he really didn't fit) during thunder storms. i will miss him running and barking freely at the ateneo high school football fields. i will miss him going hysterical over tennis balls. i will miss hugging him whenever i'm sad and him making me happy because of it. i will miss him... i miss him already... i wish i could hug him now...

although he was already quite old at the age of seven, it never really occurred to me exactly that he was indeed old. he always had this puppy aura with him that never went away. he was always ready for playtime... even to the point of waking me up in the middle of the night just to play fetch. i would get annoyed, of course, but i really didn't mind. he even woke me up for my birthday by slobbering all over my hand a few days back...

sigh...

"ano ka ba nikko... aso lang yan..." my mind keeps telling me, inducing some sort of shame within me for being overly affected by his death. but it doesn't matter. i really don't care. i loved schroeder... and i will most definitely be missing him...

don't you dare miss it...

2007-02-18T11:59:00.000+08:00

don't you dare miss it...

blue repertory presents...

high school musical live!

playdates are on february 23 at 8pm, february 24 and 25 and 1030am and 3pm, march 2 at 8pm, march 3 at 1030am, 3pm and 8pm, and march 4 at 1030am and 3pm.

it's gonna be a great show. don't miss it!

high school musical live extended...

2007-02-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

high school musical live extended...

due to our shows being sold out more than a month before show time... and thanks to the insistence of thousands of other people... highschool musical live is being extended on to the next weekend! yipee! from having just five shows originally, we're gonna have six more!

here's the official "extended" poster! feel free to grab it and post it wherever you can! oh... and don't forget to watch it yourselves as well!

ps... here's another one of our press release pics! feel free to grab this one as well, print it out... and ask for my autograph after the shows! hahaha... wala lang... enjoy!

karel marquez (gabriella) with the boys of high school musical. clockwise left to right: nicolas atienza (chad), jamie barcelon (ryan), reb atadero (zeke) and shark alonso (troy).

watch high school musical live...

2007-01-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

watch high school musical live...

peeps! ya'll have to watch high school musical! i'm in it... so you have no choice! hahaha... all the details you need to know can be found on my multiply blog.

anyway, here's one of our official hsm pics for your enjoyment... as well as mine!

the main cast of ateneo blue repertory's "high school musical:" jaime barcelon (ryan), yen morada (sharpay), la ferriols (kelsi), kakki teodoro (taylor), karel marquez (gabriella), shark alonzo (troy), nikko atienza (chad), and reb atadero (zeke)

it's gonna be a really good show! in fact, the tickets for all the original show dates and times have all been practically sold out already... so we're probably extending our run until the first weekend of march! sweet!

i really hope i see ya'll there!

addendum...

here's the poster version...

ps - yep... it's confirmed. we're extending our run for hsm! from five shows to ten! dates are march 2, 3 and 4! watch!

kindgom hearts two...

2007-01-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

kingdom hearts two...

this post is for me...

i've been stressed lately... for reasons i will not mention here. so here's something that, for some strange reason, i always watch when things seem to be over my head. it's geeky, i know. i mean.. c'mon... it's a computer game film. but nonetheless, it's my favorite so far.

ps - how did it come to this? i don't even know. i gotta shape up.

chicken shit...

2007-01-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

chicken shit...

warning: here's some emo shit for a change...

nevermind. i took it out. dang... what was i thinking? note to self: things are a whole lot more fun sans "emoness."

high school musical... so far, so good...

2006-12-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

high school musical... so far, so good...

yes, yes, yes... i know i've been delinquent with my blogging duties these past few weeks! but i've just been so busy that i haven't even had time to check my email, much less blog about how my life's been going these past few weeks.

well it doesn't even have to be said. only two things have been occupying my mind and time these days. school and hsm (high school musical). and unsurprisingly, more attention has gone to the latter. i know that it's not supposed to be that way since school is supposed to be the given priority but it's just so hard when things have been going so well and have been so crazily fun!

reb and moi being makulit during choreography of "stick to the status quo" while mako, karel and the rest are dead serious...

anyway, for those of you who don't know or i haven't told yet, for hsm, i'm playing this guy...

yep, chad, the curly haired best friend of the lead, troy bolton. a pretty big part, if you didn't know! you have no idea how thrilled i was when chari, our director, told me i got that role! ask marvin... i was beaming and i couldn't stop!

but to be honest, although i really am happy i got what i got, i still can't help but be afraid... and a wee bit insecure. it's my first time to act in this level. ever! and given how good the other bluereppers are, i feel so... untalented. they're just plain phenomenal in the acting department! i mean... c'mon... i stutter when i'm nervous! sheesh! but it's okay... i can handle this. i'm gonna handle this... i think.

anyway, as a parting shot, here's me and mako... aka "troy my hoops boy"... and who we're supposed to be... at least for the next two months.

troy and chad...

chad and troy...

ps... please watch hsm! i don't know when i'm ever gonna get a leading role like this again. just text me for details.

soaring, flying...

2006-11-30T18:48:00.000+08:00

soaring, flying...

i can't believe it. i got an email about 10 minutes ago. it goes a little something like this...

"Congratulations!

You have been chosen to be part of BlueRepertory's first Asian staging of Disney's High School Musical!

The shows will be on February 23, 2007 at 8pm; February 24, 2007 at 3pm and 8pm; February 25 at 10am and 3pm at the SM Megamall Cinema 4 Theatre.

Rehearsals begin on the Saturday, December 2, 2006 from 9 am to 4 pm at the Music Room, 3rd Floor of the Gonzaga Building in the Ateneo de Manila University (where you taught the music during call backs).

A more detailed rehearsal schedule will be given to the cast the same day. Please be reminded that joining this production is strictly voluntary and that there will be no talent fee as it is organized by Ateneo Blue Repertory.

Do not forget to come in on time and bring a recorder on Saturday for the first day of music rehearsals.

Again, Congratulations!

Sincerely,

Andrei Nikolai Pamintuan
Internals Vice President
Assistant Director/Production Manager"

i really thought i had no chance. it's my first ever endeavour in theater. no formal acting experience. no formal voice training. no formal dance training. what did i have to offer? plus... i'm super old! but to my surprise they gave me a shot! yipee...

i don't think they're gonna give me any major role just yet. first timer and all. but i don't care what role i get... i'll be happy with anything.

cheers to another first for me...

escape...

2006-10-16T01:10:00.000+08:00

escape...

i was more tired than i thought i was.

it's a given that school's pretty much been keeping me occupied, but apart from that, i've also been exhausting myself with my band's soundskool endeavors (more on that soon...), home responsibilities, some personal concerns and a plethora of other things i'm too lazy to remember... much less type out.

don't get me wrong. i'm not complaining. on the contrary, i'm actually enjoying being busy and productive. but what i've come to realize, simple may it be, is that, when one enjoys what one is doing, i guess, it just doesn't seem to be as taxing. nevertheless, work is still work... and physical exertion still takes a toll... no matter how much fun it is. ergo, i was more worn-out than what i was letting myself in on.

so you can just imagine how ecstatic i was when mikel, joh, flo, tyb and i decided to go on a road trip of sorts to zambales for the weekend. they picked me up right after my lab finals last saturday then off we went. call it a mid-hell-week vacation or a pre-sembreak break if you want... but whatever it is, it was exactly what i needed. an escape from everything.

i swear, i haven't been that relaxed since last summer. no plans, no itineraries, no schedule... no pressure.

just steadily cruising along on the north luzon expressway. stopping wherever it is that we wanted to stop. driving along again whenever we pleased. chilling on the sands of the zambales coastline at night amidst the company of good friends. sleeping soundly, right by the beach, with no worries, underneath a multitude of guarding stars. waking up to the smell of the fresh sea breeze and the sight of the vast, blue ocean. and spending the entire day just the way we had just done.

needless to say, it was good. truly a good escape...

yipee! we got into nescafe soundskool...

2006-09-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

yipee! we got into nescafe soundskool...

yep... you read it right! my band, the usual suspects, got into nescafe soundskool, our very first competion ever! not that it's a big deal or anything... it's just a nationwide thing... and the prizes for the winning band are nothing but 150,000 in cash, 150,000 worth of band equipment and a recording contract with EMI... yeah... not a big deal at all.

who am i kidding here!?! of course it's a big thing! and my band and i really need all of your help! a big chunk of the criteria is audience impact... which means that we need all of you to be there in our performances to cheer us on, make noise, go wild and make sure the judges know how much ya'll love me... i mean us! hahaha...

here are the details of our first performance:

thursday, october 12, 2006
7 pm, ratsky's tomas morato

i really (desperately) need for you all to be there in full force!

for more info on the event, check out the official nescafe soundskool 2006 site.

addendum:

to see our band pic online, go to the soundskool band page and look for the usual suspects!

lupet...

2006-09-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

lupet...

i was hanging out at home last night with tedmark, jr and mikel and they showed me a live performance in one of the past episodes of rockstar: supernova. covering r.e.m.'s classic, losing my religion, ryan star totally blew me away. giving me goosebumps, it's needless to say that this performance was just simply... lupet. check it out...

ps - thanks to javi for helping me out with this. i'm completely clueless when it comes to html and things remotely connected with it...

hey you! yes, you! leave your name here...

2006-08-26T18:53:00.000+08:00

hey you! yes, you! leave your name here...

okay... i've finally succumbed. this is my first attempt at a blog tagging game. but i found this one particularly interesting anyway. it's an interactive game of sorts, i guess. that's why it sparked my interest... that and it will potentially increase the number of comments on my blog... you know me... i simply adore comments! hahaha... so here goes.

leave any comment here, preferably one with your name and...

1. i'll respond with something random about you.
2. i'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. i'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. i'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. i'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. i'll ask you something that i've always wondered about you.

this is what i got from frances...

1. nikko's hair used to be blue. then it became green. then it became the color of dead seaweed. then now it's blue again. yay!
2. pirates of the carribean. jack sparrow ka eh
3. hmm... ice-cream flavored jello! (you still owe me a sundae!)
4. mahal ng maid yung waiter. hahahahaha!
5. singing on stage...
6. you're anansi the spider. haha
7. masaya ka ba talaga? can't think of a thing. hahaha

and frances...

- it might be red soon... or purple!
- jack sparrow? ako? wow, i'm honored... seriously. hahaha...
- yes, i owe you a sundae. i haven't forgetten.
- mahal din ng waiter yung maid...
- what about singing everywhere?
- who the hell is anansi the spider!?!
- yes. masaya ako. of course, things can never be perfect... cliche at its finest, i know. but then again... maybe it's the contrast of the bad things in life with the good that makes the good... great! diba? i've never been this true to myself in my life... and that makes me the happiest i've ever been.

i have blue hair... and yes, i'm happy...

i don't wanna talk about it...

2006-08-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna talk about it...

what's the latest in my life? here's what...

i got about six stitches on my forehead, exactly on my right eyebrow. the experts say its gonna leave a mark. damn. so much for my unblemished face (yeah right!). at least, it's gonna add a little bit more of an angas factor to my character... hopefully... or i just might end up looking even more like a wuss than i already do. oh well.

wherever i go, people have been staring at me like a freak, asking me about what happened and all... classmates, teachers, friends, strangers. but i really don't wanna talk about it... sorry. for those of you who know, please don't spill the beans, if you know what i mean. i don't want to make a bigger issue out of it. just wanted to share-slash-vent. muchos gracias...

ps - you can click on the the pic to see the other pics...

can i panic now...

2006-08-13T16:51:00.000+08:00

can i panic now...

midterms... it's that time of the semester. things are definitely starting to pile up. and despite me being exhausted and longing for some much-needed sleep, tomorrow, i still have...

- two papers due for english.
- to finalize and start writing my literary paper.
- a zoology lecture long test.
- a math long test.
- two due lab requirements.
- to study for my fil long test the next day.

can i panic now?

i know that i'm supposed to be studying right this very moment... but the thing is... i'm not. i can't seem to focus and my brain just keeps on hanging in the oddest of times. nevertheless, i should be hitting the books and class notes ahora! and i'm increasingly feeling more and more guilty with each moment that passes by that i'm not doing so. i'm such a procrastinator... i hate it! hahaha...

i gotta end this. i think i'm gonna study now...

but before i do, here's a little something that'll hopefully make ya'll smile... the fruit of one of my block's long breaks between classes.

i've got something special...

2006-07-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

are you mocking me...

my blockmates have too much time on their hands. all they do is mock me and everything i do. they call me "old man" or "corpse." they say i have alzheimer's or parkinson's... or both. they predict i'll expire right after graduation due to either a heart attack (out of excitement) or heat stroke (because of the heat in the ateneo high school covered courts). and they want to give me enervon or tena to help me out with my memory and my supposed bladder problems respectively. and that's just the start. i don't even want to mention the other things they've been saying about me.

langhiya... mga bastos na bata. wala kayong respeto para sa mga inyong nakakatanda!

hahaha... but no matter how much they pick on me, i must admit that the more time i spend with them, the more i grow fonder... and no rish... not in a pedophile type of way.

so just to show you a glimpse of what i mean, here are two of them making a mockery out of my current favorite self-portrait...

rish...

angelo...

always a little boy...

2006-07-16T14:34:00.000+08:00

always a little boy...

my current favorite picture of myself (heehee...). this was me after class hanging out in mica's complex...

the little boy is indeed back in school...

first few days of freshman life...

2006-06-27T15:54:00.000+08:00

viaje: orsem 2006...

as a continuation of my previous blog entry, here are some of the pics i took with my phone during orsem. oh and i just wanna say... i loved my orsem! so you peeps pretending to be orsem-haters, stop making pa-cool and admit that you enjoyed yours as well. but if you still insist on acting like you hate orsem... go suck an egg while you're at it! hahaha... kidding of course. oh yeah... i love my block too! enjoy the pics.

"high-fashion" block a4 by the batibot tree...

jan, raphi, roel and mike during group dynamics...

our "high-fashion" tnt's and logs: gian, cam, trish and stan...

the girl's of a4... with gian... at the vanity stop...

maika, kim, pao and rita still "high-fashion" despite the exhuastion ...

with isel during orsem night...

urbandub...

early dinner with the bloomfields...

i found aram and bea scattered amidst the freshmen...

chito of parokya... grainy shot though...

promoting aj's "wear your memories" shirts with yda bida...

kamikazee...

the little boy is back... in school...

2006-06-19T18:24:00.000+08:00

the little boy is back... in school...

as my entry title says... yes... i'm finally back in school! and not just that... in regular school. and not just any regular school... but i'm finally an atenista once again. it's been a noisy, tiring but nevertheless fun week for me. a week that was filled with orsem, orsem and orsem, freshman registration, guidance tests, meeting a plethora of new people, being lucky enough to belong to blocks that i really get along with (so far...) and as of today... the first day of school!

it's been really great, i admit, despite the heat and the sweat that i've been having to bear. and embarrassing as it may sound, i can't seem to get this really big smile off of my face! gee.. i really feel so goofy! and more than just that... what's really weird is that i've actually been very giddy and giggly these past few days! there's no denying it. i'm a freshman in the ateneo... i'm loving it and i'm proud of it! hahaha...

i guess, there's just something with new beginnings that just makes me excited. i guess i'm naturally outgoing and sociable and the prospect of meeting new people, experiencing new things, learning new ideas and discovering new worldviews just brings out the little boy in me. the little boy that's always been curious about everything around (not to mention getting into lots of trouble because of the said curiosity). sadly, he's been missing for quite some time now... off somewhere else i guess. but now, it seems like he's on his way home! awww... i feel like a little boy again!

it's been a long time since i've actually felt like this. needless to say, it feels good... and it feels right.

*sigh*

it's so good to finally have the little boy back once again...

me and my block, a4...

so long, sabbatical...

2006-06-06T22:40:00.000+08:00

so long, sabbatical...

a little over a year ago (may 30 to be exact), i, through my own volition, went through a year-long sabbatical. i had just been through a lot of stress, anxiety and trauma and i needed a very long break from everything... all the pressure, all the confusion, all the controversy and, not to mention, all the drama! i need not enumerate each occurrence and i don't want to go into detail about every single thing that was going on either, but the point is, i needed to get away from everything and, on my own, find out exactly where i stood... and from there, find out exactly where i wanted to stand.

it's been a year and a week since i voluntarily broke away from everything and i feel and know that it's just about time for me to get back into the fray once again. not that i have a choice anyway. orsem's next week, school's gonna begin a week after and i can't get it out of my head that i'm gonna be a freshman soon. how weird is that. but then again, weird, unusual and unorthodox has always been standard for my life! what's new...

but seriously now, i just wanna thank God for every single thing that happened this past year. i thank Him for allowing me to survive and even thrive in the lowest point i've ever been, and i thank Him for giving me the chance to be the highest and happiest i've ever been as well. i thank Him for having been given the chance to do things i never thought i could or would do and i thank Him as well for never letting me lose hope even in the direst of circumstances.

more than just these, i would also like to thank Him for giving me the opportunity to meet so many new people, friends and brothers and sisters... people whose lives have changed and inspired me. awesome people who i know will be my friends for life. likewise, i am also filled with gratitude for having been given another chance to re-establish my relationships with long lost friends. those whose friendships, i thought, i would no longer have the privilege and honor of having. but thankfully i was wrong. i am grateful for a second chance, for forgiveness and for acceptance. i thank God for all you people. you know who you are... and i just want to thank all of you for being you.

i know it's getting a bit long, overly dramatic and a tad too boring for ya'll but i just felt like these things needed to be said. actually, if you really knew me, you would know that there are still chapters upon chapters of things i still want to say... and that i could actually go on and on for hours (or pages) on end, but for the love of you all, i'll just end it here. heehee...

*sigh*

life indeed has been a life this past year. so cheers to my sabbatical. cheers to all that happened. cheers to all my friends and loved ones. i don't regret anything that happened. and if ever i do regret something, it would simply be that i wish i could've done more, seen more, discovered more... lived more. but then again, that's what the rest of my life is for...

why hasn't nikko been blogging lately...

2006-05-31T16:17:00.000+08:00

why hasn't nikko been blogging lately...

nikko hasn't been blogging lately because...

- his computer broke down (yet again) and it ain't fixed yet.
- his cousins (whom he deeply misses), rina and amar, just visited from london.
- he has been reunited with amar and miel once again, ready and willing to wreak havoc anywhere and everywhere.
- he had to play tour-guide/host/driver/yaya to amar and his two mates from the u.k., raffy and nas, all over manila before their trip to bora.
- he went to, frolicked in and caused mischief in boracay for about a week with the londoners.
- he had to, once again, play tour-guide/host/driver/yaya to amar and his two mates from the u.k., raffy and nas, all over manila after their trip to bora as well.
- he got sick, a forty degree fever to be exact, for a couple of days and is still recovering from a really bad "cough." the ramifications of his pious commitment to be tour-guide/host/driver/yaya.
- he has been very busy "preparing" for his incoming freshman year at the ateneo.
- he has incessantly been thinking of tactics on how ___ __ _____ ___ ____ ___ during orsem.
- he has been meeting and deliberating with the publishers and editors of the manila times regarding a weekly writing stint on the broadsheet.
- he has been weighing the odds on whether or not he should take the offer.
- he has been taking lots of time to consider whether or not he should audition for philippine idol.
- he has just been too damn tired to actually write anything and just wants to hibernate for a looong time.

just a few of the reasons for his seeming absence from blogging. not that he's required to blog a specific quota per month or that he's accountable to anybody to blog regularly. he can choose not to blog, you know. but since he loves his readers, small their population may be, he just wanted ya'll to know that he's okay and that he will tell you all about his little deeds of mischief soon enough.

why lasalle...

2006-05-10T17:15:00.000+08:00

why la salle...

my dear friends... allow me to show you something special that made me laugh out loud yesterday. i found this on the unofficial ateneo site on multiply. although i know that it's prolly old and ya'll have prolly seen it already, but please still allow me to indulge in a little bit of atenista humor.

now as for you my la sallite friends... please don't get angry. just take it for what it is... a funny joke! go on ahead and laugh. it's okay, you know...

does nikko take drugs...

2006-05-02T22:13:00.000+08:00

does nikko take drugs...

okay, i'm gonna keep this short and simple...

lately, there have been some news... nay... rumors, circulating around that i have apparently been taking drugs. great. so to satisfy these people who have been propagating this so-called information around and broadcasting this news... based merely upon hearsay, might i add... to who knows where... i will settle this (non) issue right here.

however, before that, let me just express my disappointment upon those who would rather make a big controversy out of all this than finding out the truth. because, truth is, if they really wanted to know the truth, they would've asked me straight and not talked about it with everyone else except for me. gets?

so on to the real deal. "does nikko take drugs?" the answer is...

no, i do not take drugs.

i hope that makes you all happy and satisfied. thanks for adding more color to my already colorful life. hope you guys (you know who you are) find something better to do with your colorless ones this time. ciao...

crouching tiger, poor, decapitated, little chicken...

2006-04-28T17:21:00.000+08:00

crouching tiger, poor, decapitated, little chicken...

ordo just came back from subic a few days ago and we had a little conversation about the cute little tigers that can be found in zoobic. as a result of that short chat, i was suddenly whisked away into nostalgia land and was once again brought back to my little subic excursion during last year's sembreak.

since it's hot and humid and since i'm bored and have nothing else better to do (for now), let me share with ya'll how a bunch of us guys gets turned into something that highly resembles a bunch of screaming faggots when brought face to face with a tiger's lethal jaws.

just click on the pic to download the video. enjoy...

random pre-viewing concerns...

1) this video has semi-graphic/violent/gory content...
2) don't let our reactions in this video make you think that we're "a bunch of screaming faggots" and that we're like this everyday. nope, we're not. we're actually very manly men. trust us...
3) poor, decapitated, little chicken...

soul searching at four-twenty...

2006-04-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

soul searching at four-twenty...

today is april 20. and it's my birthday... gee... it's great to finally be 18! i'm finally of legal age! life is indeed great! hahaha...

anyway, as i was soul searching today (and coincidentally surfing the net as well), by some twist of fate, i found myself staring at the computer screen, viewing a site which claims to be able to reveal to me what or who i was in my past life!

so rather skeptically (yeah right), i tried it out and lo and behold, the freakin' site actually hit the bullseye!

Nikko was
a Well-Dressed Rock Star
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

hahaha... see what i've always told you guys... can you see it!?! i always knew i had it in me! I always knew that it was an innate characteristic within me that no one could and can take away. and I know without a shadow of a doubt that it's only a matter of time until my destiny as a rock star... and a well-dressed one no less... becomes a reality!

so watch out ya'll... nikko's comin' to rock your world!

addendum:

i was going through wikipedia today and learned some rather nifty stuff regarding the 20th of april. according to them, the following are among the things that transpired on this specific date and some of the things that it represents.

events
- 1657 - jews of new amsterdam (later new york city) granted freedom of religion.
- 1862 - the first pasteurization test completed by louis pasteur
- 1902 - pierre and marie curie refine radium chloride.
- 1926 - western electric and warner brothers announce vitaphone, a process to add sound to film.
- 1972 - apollo 16 lands on the moon.
- 1979 - president jimmy carter is attacked by a swamp rabbit while on vacation in plains, georgia.
- 1999 - eric harris and dylan klebold kill 12 students and a teacher before turning their guns on themselves in the columbine high school massacre.

births
- 570 - muhammad, founder of islam (d. 632)
- 1586 - saint rose of lima, peruvian saint (d. 1617)
- 1808 - emperor napoleon bonaparte III of france (d. 1873)
- 1889 - adolf hitler, austrian-born german dictator (d. 1945)
- 1923 - mother angelica, american nun and broadcaster
- 1923 - tito puente, american musician (d. 2000)
- 1949 - jessica lange, american actress
- 1951 - luther vandross, american singer (d. 2005)
- 1972 - carmen electra, american actress
- 1976 - joey lawrence, american actor

holidays and observances
- april 20 (4/20) is associated with 420 (cannabis culture).
- astrology: first day of sun sign taurus.
- festival of matsu, southeast asia (2006)
- ridvan begins at sunset (bahai faith).
- national love-a-teen-day.
- national high five day.

rather interesting, don't you think.

i've known about the cannabis culture and the columbine massacre for a few years now, but who would've thought that i would be born alongside the ranks of such history makers like muhammad, napoleon, hitler and... carmen electra not to mention joey lawrence! and jimmy carter being attacked by a "swamp rabbit" just makes it sweeter!

click on the the date for the complete listing of all (or at least, a lot of) things related to april 20.

ps... to all those who texted, im'd, called, tagged, greeted and what not... thanks guys! you know who you are and i love ya'll. as for those who didn't... well... i'm still waiting... better late than never! hahaha!

boracay april 2006...

2006-04-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

boracay april 2006...

hey guys! as promised, here are some of the pics from our bora trip! needless to say, it was awesome! everything about it was practically perfect (i exaggerate, but you know what i mean) and i really wanna go back again... oh wait... i am going back next month! hahaha... sweet!

anyway, i'll be posting more pics onto my multiply soon... just stay tuned! but for now, enjoy these pics!

not bad for my first day...

trick, drew, joe and me, making the most of the shade...

sound trippin' right by the beach man...

watching the sun set by the shore...

ords, mik and me just after our all-you-can-eat mongolian barbecue dinner...

good morning beautifully breath-taking bora...

on the boat, just about to go snorkeling with the gang...

migs and myself, just after snorkeling, but still bangag from the previous night...

len, paula and moi on the beach, though you can't actually see it...

being all sentimental amidst the crystalline waters, the powdery white sand and the red setting sun...

the boys having a blast on the banana boat...

joe, making sulit his banana boat experience while drew and i attempt to help him up the boat...

the tres bandidos making sand angels in an attempt to be angelic. wasted efforts...

gazing off into the boracay horizon...

getting my henna tattoo done...

making the most of the sun, loving the view, bathing in the experience and showing off my tattoo...

loving bora at night time...

bora, i'll be back...

ps... happy birthday pipes!

how sweet it is...

2006-04-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

how sweet it is...

"as for me... college life is just peeking around the corner... that is, if i get in (hopefully i do...). i'm kinda excited yet anxious as well. it is to be expected, i guess, but still, somehow it still keeps me up nights... and even days, worrying... nay... pondering about it. i can only do so much. the rest is up to fate. sigh... i do hope and pray that i do make it into the big blue one.

oh well... whatever will be... will be. i guess, these are the times and moments that give life more color and make living this life a whole lot more exciting. to be waiting with much anticipation the outcome of things where and when one doesn't really have much control over... and learning how to live, survive and even thrive when the outcome, whether or not it is to one's liking or not, comes out."

i wrote this little piece here in my blog a few weeks back... and i wrote it with a knot in my throat. somehow, i seriously thought that my chances in getting accepted into the ateneo were slim to none. however, right now... i've never been so happy to be so wrong. because reality is...

i got in.

how sweet it is! in this case, the outcome is exactly what i wanted. however, you have to understand that before i did find out, i first had to endure about 6 months of anxiety, eagerly awaiting the results. yes, exciting and colorful, i know... but nerve-racking as well. but now... life is good. and what makes it even sweeter is when and how i found out!

it happened when i, along with a bunch of my friends, was in a packed van, halfway between roxas and caticlan, on route to boracay. amidst the humidity, the bumpy ride, the unpredictably unstable driver and making sure that we had good music on our way to bora (i was the designated dj), i was already falling in and out of consciousness. suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, my phone began to go off, playing moony's song, dove (consequently my ringtone), signaling that a text had arrived.

half asleep, i automatically reached for my phone and began to check the text out. it was from my mom. and it read...

"hi nikko! ateneo called. you're accepted na daw - communications. you have to confirm. congrats!"

at that moment, everything just stopped. suddenly, i wasn't so sleepy anymore. it wasn't so hot anymore. and the cramped space and the sweat didn't seem to be as menacing. in fact, everything seemed... perfect. after a moment or two of just staring into nothing and trying to grasp the news, i just burst into a shout in the van and yelled at everyone... "i got in!"

hahaha... what a perfect way to start off your vacation in bora?! i mean, my admission, or rejection, to/from ateneo was basically the only thing that was keeping me hanging in anxiety, concern and doubt these past few months, and now that i had no more reason to worry about it... well... it just made my bora vacation so much sweeter! ya'll just have no idea how thankful i am right now.

*sigh*

life is good...

ps - i just arrived from boracay after a week and needless to say, i am exhausted. happy, fulfilled, satisfied... but exhausted. i'll tell ya'll about it soon. and expect more pics at my multiply. as for now, i'm gonna sleep my head off! hahaha...

adios...

2006-03-28T04:19:00.000+08:00

adios...

to my best friend... goodbye...

but before we part, let me just say one thing. please... don't push away the people who love you the most... because I am one of those people. needless to say, it hurts, but know that i am not angry at you. i'm just really heart broken with the reality of the situation. i am sad that it has to come to this. but if to stay away from you is what you want from me, then i have no choice but to respect that. i look back fondly at all we've been through. the good times and the unbearably tough. the craziness and the utterly silly. all the love and all the genuine concern. but alas, all those belong in the past. mere memories, you could say. however, i do hope the future will bring us even better times. remember, though, that you will always be welcome in my life. the door will forever be open. when you need me as a friend, know that i'll always be there for you. just give me a call, a text, an email, an instant message or feel free to drop by the house. don't even hesitate. you know my number and my address anyway. so until we see each other again, i just want to say that i love you more than you know... truly so much more than you know. i do hope and pray that God will bring us together again in the future. until then, with tears in my eyes and a crack in my voice... adios.

your friend who loves you until it hurts,

nikko

they sure do start 'em young...

2006-03-23T17:13:00.000+08:00

they sure do start 'em young...

i was simply walking around the house a couple of days ago when, from the corner of my eye, i spotted my little niece, 3 year old maxine, seemingly morose. being the loving ninong that i am, i immediately walked over to her to see what the matter was and was surprised to see her staring straight at the television set on the verge of a full-on bawling fest. what was even more alarming was what she was watching that was giving her such deep sorrow.

no it wasn't a horror film scaring her to death nor was it some heavy drama flick playing with her emotions. and no it wasn't even her older brothers teasing her by changing the channel while she was watching the power rangers in action (although it is the most common tv related incident that makes her cry). so what was it that was making her cry?

well, you wouldn't even believe me even if i told you. but nevertheless, i still will. of all things on television that was making her all emotional, she was watching...

project runway!

yep, albeit it being the first season (there are already two), my little maxine is apparently heavily into the show! so much so that she waits eagerly for it and religiously watches it every time it comes on! plus, she cries every time one of the designer contestants gets eliminated from the show... which is... uh... every episode! so needless to say, she cries every time she watches the show! isn't that simply adorable!?!

so just to leave you guys with a little bit of what i witnessed, here's a pic of maxine just as she was about to weep for one of them eliminated project runway contestants. enjoy...

boys' night out... but not, cliche as it may sound, in a brokeback kinda way...

2006-03-14T05:06:00.000+08:00

boys' night out... but not, cliche as it may sound, in a brokeback kinda way...

hey guys... i'm in migs' house right now and the boys' night out... or in... depending on which way you see it... has just reached its meaningful conclusion. "why?" you might ask? well everybody's pretty much as dead as a bunch of antelope shred into a dozen pieces by a pride of lions. it's not really the perfect analogy but once you see the pics i just took, you'll pretty much understand what i mean. hehehe...

anyway, i just had an amusing night with the soon-to-be graduates of the ateneo. although scenes of mikel chasing me around the escueta household, including miguel's grandmother's room, desperately wanting to get a good punch at my face still haunt me... as well as david lee ranting on and on and on about his traumatic life experiences for at least two whole hours while everyone else frolicked around the pool (i love you david... don't get angry)... migs gettin cozy, hot and heavy with everyone by the pool by insisting to talk about a certain controversial topic and then taking a few of us aside every once in a while just to tell us how "batak" he is, complete with a flexing and posing routine, while still expertly juggling his role as the night's host... drew and "blow by blow" tonyo doing nothing else but try to outdo and get the better of each other in nba live practically the entire night... sulit joe and sumusulit slammer adi showing the rest how "manly" they are by constantly bickering about who's the "bata" of who the whole time... and trick just sitting by the pool, cig in hand, nursing his knee and drinking away his sorrows about god knows what... or who! and these are just a few of the dusturbing scenes about this lovely night that i would rather forget! hahaha... nah just kidding dudes... or am i!?!

anyway... everybody pretty much had a great chillaxing night... what... with their impending graduation lurking just a few days away? who can blame them? they pretty much deserve it after four years of busting their asses doing things they hate (and love... sometimes) i mean... i would too if i were in their shoes! but alas... i am not...

as for me... college life is just peeking around the corner... that is, if i get in (hopefully i do...). i'm kinda excited yet anxious as well. it is to be expected, i guess, but still, somehow it still keeps me up nights... and even days, worrying... nay... pondering about it. i can only do so much. the rest is up to fate. sigh... i do hope and pray that i do make it into the big blue one.

oh well... whatever will be... will be. i guess, these are the times and moments that give life more color and make living this life a whole lot more exciting. to be waiting with much anticipation the outcome of things where and when one doesn't really have much control over... and learning how to live, survive and even thrive when the outcome, whether or not it is to one's liking or not, comes out.

hmmm... pretty intense thoughts stemming from a mere "boys night out" i reckon. but then again... even the most trivial (or so we think) of things in life tend to make people reflect upon their lives and life choices... this is one of those times, i guess...

thanks to migs for giving me and the rest of the graduatees a place and time to be free, relax and just be themselves (whoever they are). and thanks to the others who were with us tonight... mikel, sulit, slammer, david, tonyo, drew and trick... even though i ain't really part of comtech, actm and what not... thanks for making me feel welcome and like one of you guys (soon-to-be-graduates). truly a night to remember.

so as i mentioned earlier, here are the "dead antelope" pics. enjoy. see ya'll in bora soon!

sulit joe...

david...

drew...

mikel...

trick...

slammer adi...

blow by blow by blow tonyo...

fish out of water, trying to climb mountains...

2006-02-27T14:46:00.000+08:00

fish out of water, trying to climb mountains...

okay. so i'm in cantabaco right now, somewhere in the mountains of cebu (thanks to modern technology, i can surf the web and even blog via my mobile phone right here in the middle of nowhere!) desperately trying to be a... "climber." yep, so far, i don't think that i've been doing a very good job at it. "how come?" you might ask? well, to be painfully honest, if you were to ask me for my job description these past few days it would probably go a little something like this: water boy, bus boy, carry boy, ice boy, battery boy, runner boy, food boy... and so many other types of "boys" that i can't even try to name all of them (except for that kind of boy. refer to the fifth word after this sentence for clarity). gee.. i can't even call myself a belay slave since i can't even belay for crap! tsk, tsk, tsk...

but don't you dare think that i've just been some sort of pathetic city boy lost in the wilderness (okay, fine, this ain't the sahara but it sure does come real close!). i've climbed a few routes as well... it doesn't matter that i haven't gotten to finish any of the routes (so far) in this trip (i did get to finish one in dingle though!). the point is that i, at least, tried to climb, right?

ho hum...

anyway, you can't even begin to imagine how much of a fool i've made of myself during the duration of this trip. and the thing is, it ain't even finished yet! thinking about the other ways that i can and probably will make myself look even more stupid and totally undone than i already have done in the remainder of our stay here just makes me wanna cover my head with a paper bag, run for cover, hide and hurl! haha... well, at least i can say that i was able to give these uber cool and uber tough outdoorsmen, local and foreign alike, a little bit of amusement the past few days. never mind that it can be and actually is pretty degrading on my end of the deal. i made them laugh... them laughing... at me... not with... at... me... at my expense... more times than i can remember. that should be more than enough reward-slash-punishment, i guess. err... right?

oh! and have i mentioned that all that they've been telling me and all that i've been hearing since my arrival here in cebu has been nothing else but "you're not one of us!" i mean, gimme a break! try telling that to a manila boy busting his ass to gain some semblance of respect in the outdoors (aka me)! can you be any more brutal? i've gotten totally filthy already the past few days that i've practically already become swamp thing come alive! i mean, what else do i have to do (other than to actually finish a freaking route) to gain some sort of validation as a climber? tell me... what!?!

sigh...

but it's okay. don't get me wrong. i'm fine. actually more than fine. i'm having a grand time. i'm totally enjoying spending these past few crazy days and nights with true blue climbers, my pathetic yet entertaining attempt at being "one of them" and all the other things that come with it! i'm just being overly dramatic right now. gimme another five minutes or so and i'll be fine... just a little bit sensitive... but fine nonetheless.

i just wonder and look forward to the time when i won't be a "wannabe" anymore and actually be considered an authentic... (drum roll please)... "climber!" ha! imagine! that'll be the day! oh well. till that day comes, i guess all i can do is to just try even harder... maybe even finish a route or two... or three...

oh wait... i hear something. i gotta go right now. they're calling me again. they probably need something bought from the store. i'll just check back again later. and i'll be posting the pics on my multiply again soon as well. until then... here's a pic of a bunch of my newly found slave-drivers...

oh and how could i forget... aldwin, miel, travis, garth, doc, mikko, pot, angel, trick, carlos and macoy... thanks a whole lot. let's do this again sometime soon. hopefully by then, i'll be able to keep up!

dingle 2006 pics...

2006-02-17T15:28:00.000+08:00

dingle 2006 pics...

as promised (don't mind that i'm like a month delayed), i've finally uploaded my much-awaited dingle, iloilo pictures onto my multiply. check it out. just click on any of the pics to go to the album. it's quite amusing...

my first outdoor climb...

nightfall with koichi and miel...

tom biking towards the mountain...

miel belaying...

koichi...

tom by the fire...

miel leading tequila...

jeepney ride...

back in town...

2006-02-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

back in town...

hello to all my faithful readers... all four of you, that is. heehee. just wanted to tell ya'll that i'm back from my trip and am glad to be home where i can be and am near all of you who mean so much to me.

*tear*

now, enough of the cheese. i just got back from my trip yesterday and the very first thing i did upon arriving was... sleep! over the past six days, it shocked me to discover that i had an accumulated slumber time total of a mere... seven hours... accumulated from my sleeping periods in the hotel, flights, bus, taxi and boat rides. seven hours. gee... no wonder i was so exhausted.

so from the time i arrived home, which was at about 9 am, to about 7 pm, i did nothing but hibernate, gaining for myself, that single day, a grand total slumber time of ten hours. imagine, i did more sleeping yesterday alone than in the past six days combined. sweet...

after waking up refreshed but nevertheless still feeling totally sore from all the hard work i had been doing the previous days, i freshened up and met up with miel at mcdonald's katipunan. we chatted for a while and from there, went home to have a star wars battle front fest as well as eat dinner, the lovely beef in oyster sauce that ate rits had prepared for us and the rest of the house.

then came the best part...

miel had the most awesome idea... magpamasahe! haha! like me, he had been working hard (but not to the same degree as i have) and was feeling sore as well. so off we went to tranquil mood, just outside xavierville, and had ourselves a long sought-for full body massage. sweet.

although i almost passed out out of pain when the masseuse began massaging my legs, feet and lower back, it nevertheless felt so good. like i always say, there's a fine line between pleasure and pain... so much so that pain can oftentimes be pleasurable and vice versa. no i'm not a masochist, it's just the truth. ask kiddo. he agrees with me, right joe? anyway, the massage was awesome. a totally perfect way to end the day.

oh, i almost forgot. off on a slightly different tangent, i just wanna let you guys know that i have lubong for you! it ain't much really, but it comes from the deepest recesses of my heart. hope you guys like it. i'll just give them out whenever i see you guys.

till then... i'm out.

walk on: a eulogy...

2006-02-10T03:35:00.000+08:00

walk on: a eulogy...

my feet are officially dead.

*and as to be expected, the post mortem autopsy (redundant, i know... but then again, "post mortem autopsy" sounds cool... so it's okay) has revealed that indeed, the cause of death can be attributed to my feet being "over-walked" as a result of incessant shopping (or incessantly following the golden girls as they shop), sight-seeing, frolicking around popular (and unpopular... i make my own you see) tourist attractions and gallivanting all through the night in strange and foreign locales.

the bright side of things here is that, at least, my feet were able to reach, touch and roam on mainland china ground before their impending expiration and cessation. ooh... and as a fringe benefit of sorts, my feet were also able to walk upon the famed spit (excess saliva and mucous) that some (or most) of the local chinese residents have hawked, regurgitated and let fly onto terra firma.

gross, i know, albeit it being fascinating. but don't take these remarks against me. i'm simply writing the truth... something i witnessed countless times today.

wait... i'm digressing. back to my feet.

as i was saying, my feet were able to roam on chinese soil today... for the first time. and needless to say, it was one for the books (my books at least). although they failed to trail through the great wall, wander through the streets of ultra-modern shanghai or to even find its way to the ancestral homes of zhang ziyi and yao ming (some of the things they hoped on doing upon reaching the mainland), the experience was still sensational.

they got to tread on and along the chinese coastal city's (area and city name to be added later. author is currently forgetting the names. what a blockhead...) various venues, its historical landmarks, bus and subway stations, shopping malls and streets (both above and under ground), restaurants, parks, restrooms, hotels, skyscrapers, playgrounds, ports, docks etc... oh... and as well as its various official immigration halls and offices. definitely a blast.

too bad they had to succumb so soon. there were still so many things that they wanted to do. so many heights to reach, so many depths to fathom, so many other malls to invade... you know? the things that really count. but alas, it was not meant to be. at least not yet. we all believe in life everlasting right? well, so do they.

but for now, this is where their story ends. but not before their ever-loving owner gave them their farewell endowment. as a simple fruit and reward for their unwavering allegiance and loyalty to him, the owner robed them with brand new leather boots. a simple gesture, yes, but nevertheless very much greeted with much adulation.

sigh...

they were good feet. wonderful feet, in fact. gentle, faithful, persevering, obedient... yet strong, sure, steady and fast... willing to fight on... to walk on... till the end. surely... they will be missed.

but do not fret, my friends. all is not lost. someday... someday for sure. when the right hour comes (after lots of rest and most importantly, a day or two at the foot spa)... they will be back again. better than ever. back again to walk... back to walk on... across the mountains, across the miles, across the malls... with a vengeance.

until that day comes... we will definitely be waiting patiently... with great anticipation... with joyful hope.

*history in the making. probably the longest sentence i've written on this blog's history... err... not!

my feet are killing me...

2006-02-08T18:21:00.000+08:00

my feet are killing me...

hey peeps. i'm in hong kong right now and this is my second internationally made blog! hurrah!

anyway, i just came from stanley and as my blog title clearly says, my feet are killing me. i'm not kidding. it's not even funny. it's just that i've been walking so much!

last night, or rather, this morning, i got back to the hotel at about 5:00 am... after roaming the streets of macau the entire time... on foot! after a totally refreshing bubble bath and barely two hours of sleep, i was again rudely awakened by mother. apparently, we had to catch a boat bound for hong kong. unsurprisingly enough, as soon as we stepped on dry land, totally fresh off the boat and all that, the golden girls made a mad dash for all the shopping sites they could reach. granville, nathan, time square, stanley, yada, yada, yada... who was i to argue with them? it just ain't a good idea to stand in between women and their innate urge to shop. anyway, apart from our short bus and taxi rides, we've simply been walking all day... killer!

don't get me wrong, i've been loving all the sleuth-like exploring i've been doing so far, as well as all the shopping we've done today... as well as all the benefits that come with it. i just wish i had a segway or something to take away some of the agony my legs are feeling right now. oh well, at least i get to get some cool, new, nifty stuff.

anyway, i gotta jet for now... the golden girls are beckoning. more shopping i reckon. and tomorrow, we're going to the mainland. yipee... more walking though... ugh.

nah... who am i to complain!?! i'm having the time of my life!

mabuhay ang macau...

2006-02-08T00:46:00.000+08:00

mabuhay ang macau...

hey guys! hola from macau! this is actually the first time i'm blogging from another country and i'm all giddy about it! hahaha... talk about cheap thrills! but you gotta give me some slack... mababaw talaga kaligayahan ko!

anyway, macau is a whole lot colder than i expected. in fact, despite being indoors in a pinoy-filled web cafe called "chinoy," and despite it having indoor heating, i'm still shivering from the cold! but it's all good. needless to say, i'm having a great time.

i'm actually here with my mom and my two aunts (i'm gonna be their slave for the next five days) but as for the moment, since the golden girls are all tired and probably snoring away in their comfy hotel beds, i'm exploring the city solo... and having an awesome time at it! gee... i feel like macgyver or something! heehee...

it's such a great experience and feeling to be out exploring a strange city, not knowing anyone and hence, not having anyone to tour you around and tell you where to go and all that. it gives me a rather strange thrill.

okay, okay, fine... it's not like i'm in casablanca, india, brazil or mexico. you know, those mysterious places where you can just be mugged at gunpoint at any street corner or killed without any logical reason whatsoever. heck, it's not even the philippines where you can get kidnapped (in certain places) or spat at anytime, anywhere. it's just macau... practically one of the safest places on the planet. but still.

the point is, i'm in a place i know nothing about, for the first time, alone, with nothing but pennies in my pocket and trying to make it around the city on my own. you gotta give me at least some credit here!

but seriously, it's a new feeling for me. and it's an experience i'm liking very much. for the longest time, i've been wanting to go out and do something like this... and now i'm actually doing it. a dream come true, you could say.

anyway, i can't stay that much longer. gotta check more of the city out. so to all my friends out there in the land of the dried mangoes, jeepnies and gloria macapagal-arroyo, i greet ya'll with the warmest "mabuhay!" i can give in this freezing place... and i expect you to holler back!

so for now... it's ciao!

ps - pics are sure to follow. keep posted.

and my blog's back...

2006-01-25T15:47:00.000+08:00

and my blog's back...

i wrote ripway (my image web hosting site) yesterday about my little dilemma concerning my account with them and voila... what do you know? they wrote to me today to tell me that they reactivated my account! yipee... i'm happy. now, my blog looks a lot more decent than it did yesterday!

my blog looks like...

2006-01-24T17:53:00.000+08:00

my blog looks like...

yes, yes, yes... my site's a total wreck... i know, i know, i know... you don't have to tell me. i already know.

sheesh.

i just go to iloilo for (barely) a week and when i come back, i come back to the sight of my blog looking like it was designed by mikel or something. i know it's nothing that big to be griping about, but somehow, seeing something you've invested a few hundred hours on, just to make it look the least bit interesting and cool, looking like trash can get to someone like me.

sigh. but don't worry. it's okay. i'm fine now.

i did some investigating on why my site looks like kiddo and kayo's room, that is, all messed up with no semblance of order, and i found out that the site where i hosted my pics for my blog deactivated my account. why? simply because i failed to log in to my account at least once in the past thirty days.

sheesh.

talk about a lame reason. oh well. i'll just prolly have to host my blog pics on my multiply instead. at least there, i know i won't just be cut off for some lame reason. until then, i'll just have to bear with my site looking like what it looks like now. ugly. sigh.

as for my trip to iloilo, i'll be putting some of the pics up here soon and prolly write something short about it. oh and for sure, i'll be adding a new album about it in my multiply as soon as my computer comes back from the shop. you can just check all the pics there when i do.

what's your take on unconditional love...

2006-01-04T03:39:00.000+08:00

what's your take on unconditional love...

over the christmas break, extending towards the early part of 2006 and still up until now, i've been thinking a lot about love. stop right there... now, before you all start presuming or speculating about what's going on with my love life (now don't get too excited dani), let me just cut you guys off and say that its not about that or at least not just about the romantic kind of love that i've been mulling over and pondering about. it's about love as a whole... about unconditional love.

over the holidays, i've just been gathering my thoughts about the real nature of unconditional love. i've been ruminating about its effect on people, on relationships, on how we live our lives. its boundaries and limitations (if ever it does have... but then again, if it did have, the term would then be an oxymoron of sorts), its complications and/or its simplicity, its tendency to bring out the best in people... or the worst. you know all that stuff...

honestly, i'd be lying if i said that i haven't been enlightened about the subject since the beginning of my period of pondering over it, because i have. however, i'd be lying as well if i said that i've gotten a better grasp of the concept of it since then, cuz i haven't. but then again, is unconditional love something that's supposed to be grasped? or... can it even be defined and construed at all in the first place?

probably the most classic and truthful definition of love that i can think of can be found in the thirteenth chapter of first corinthians, commonly dubbed as the "love chapter." and as its famous line goes "love is patient, love is kind..." and so it goes on. i've also simply disected and defined the term unconditional love into two distinct parts:

1) unconditional

adj. without conditions or limitations; absolute.

2) love

a) n. a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

b) v. to have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person).

i've been masticating upon this topic so much these past few days, rolling it around my mouth (so to speak) and have been trying to squeeze out as much flavor as i can from it... but i'm still not satisfied with what i've come up with. in fact, my brain's kinda cramped right now and the flavor of the subject, as a result of the incessant masticating, has gotten stale. yes, stale. you could say that i've perhaps gotten myself in a stale mate of sorts and i'm longing for some outside input. so now that we have that on the table, i need your notion on this. so you guys tell me...

what's your take on unconditional love?

merry christmas...

2005-12-24T11:41:00.000+08:00

merry christmas...

"For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you
who is Messiah and Lord..." - Luke 2:11

to my parents and to my brothers. to the atienza mafia and to the del rosario dynasty. to my boys and to the berks. to my oldest friends and even to my newest ones...

simply put... during Christmas, we remember how God sent His Son to a bunch of unworthies like us. what can i say? He just loves us very much. anyway, i just want ya'll to know that Jesus' love is real. i pray that ya'll be overwhelmed with His love this season and may your Christmases be filled with His laughter, His joy and His peace. you guys mean the world to me... and i really mean it. love ya guys.

merry christmas!

shoot the cats...

2005-12-10T03:34:00.000+08:00

shoot the cats...

for the fifth consecutive night now, two cats have been engaging in a non-stop, all-night-long meow-fest on our roof... and not just any part of our roof, but right by my window... rendering me practically sleepless and desperately longing for some serenity!

i know it's probably mating season right now and that they're all in heat... but do i really care? do they actually think sleep deprivation is fun? do they actually think i'm being amused or entertained? do they actually think they're being all cute and romantic (like those wildlife characters commonly seen on disney flicks)? pssshhh... ya'll have no idea how annoyed i am right now!

argh! and there they go again! somebody, shut them up... now... please!

believe me... i've tried. but no matter what i do, no amount of shouting and taunting on my part has made the slightest effect on them! and now, they're running around, causing so much pandemonium on the rooftop while they're at it!

argh!

i can't stand it! i swear, if i only had a shotgun right now (or at the very least a bb gun...), i'd shoot those freakin' felines off 'a my roof this very moment! don't get me wrong. i'm an animal lover and all that... but gimme a break! it's almost christmas... can't i have at least one silent night!?!

you know what i'm saying? so please. somebody. help me out. shoot the cats...

ps - these photographs express my wish for those cats...

the would-be love of my life...

2005-12-01T01:22:00.000+08:00

the would-be love of my life...

it's no secret. people always think that dani and i are together. either that or that we're either one of these common suspicions-slash-accusations: (a) that we are, at the very least, going out (b) that i'm making her ligaw (for the past how many years now!?!) and not surprisingly (c) that as fate (or what other people wish our fate to be) would have it, we will inevitably end up... together. the concern on whether we want to or not is negligible.

i swear... if people would only mind their own business, leave us alone and let nature take its course, then maybe, things wouldn't be so confusing for all 'a them onlookers.

so what's the real deal between the two of us? hmmm... what do you think?

while you do so... here's my latest pic with the would-be love of my life...

happy thanksgiving...

2005-11-26T15:17:00.000+08:00

happy thanksgiving...

i know that it's a day or two late (i'm not too sure because i've never really celebrated it before), but i would nevertheless want to greet ya'll a happy thanksgiving... especially to those family and friends of mine who live in a primarily american culture.

i spent most of the afternoon, yesterday, helping out dani's cousin, margarita, shop for our thanksgiving dinner tonight. meaning shopping for turkey, cranberry sauce, corn meal, pumpkin pie (at least the ingredients), etc. she's an american on vacation here... she insisted on having one... she's paying for everything... so who were we to stop her? a free meal's a free meal... hehehe...

so to alan, carlo, joey, ninong dindo, christopher, all my other relatives from the west... as well as to eeshee, roni, ben and nicole (do canadians even celebrate thanksgiving? i'm not too sure...), happy thanksgiving...

here's a turkey... or two for ya'll... take your pick. enjoy.

fine...

2005-11-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

fine...

for the first time, i'm finally making my blog public knowledge to my friends... but i had to edit some things and take out some (most actually... heehee) of my posts to preserve my dignity and make it acceptable for public consumption. so don't mind if there are a lot of weird gaps between posts. hehehe... so there.

i hate html...

2005-11-23T13:03:00.000+08:00

i hate html...

yipee... my blog's got a new look! it doesn't look like most of the other blogspot blogs i see anymore. thanks to saul's link to blogfrocks and to mikel's help in at least giving me a slight idea of how html works, my blog actually looks... hmmm... a bit unique! hahaha. i tweaked (via trial and error) the codes a bit though, just to make the site template a bit more to my liking.

but don't get me wrong... i still hate html. maybe someday i'll get the hang of it... and maybe even learn to like it. we'll see.

now... on to figure out how to allow comments on this new template...

i finally fixed my room...

2005-11-22T15:49:00.000+08:00

i finally fixed my room...

yep... after... let's see... 2 years of not organizing my room in any way, i've finally gotten over my procrastination and lethargic behavior and put into concrete action what i've been aching to do: a room makeover.

i know it sounds gay and all... but believe me, once you see what i've done with it, you will not be able to help but say "good job!" obviously, i'm proud of my little side project... so sue me... heehee...

so what did i do? t'was simple really.

first of all, i moved (or asked the maids to do so... don't you just love househelp!?!) all my stuff out of my room. and i mean all! i then went over all my stuff and segregated all the stuff i needed/wanted, the junk i was gonna throw away and the other useful stuff that i could give away to people who wanted them. after that, i had all my stuff cleaned and wiped and i slowly moved them back into the room.

prior to that, however, i made major area changes in my room. nothing too complicated, though. i just moved my bed upstairs, moved my pc downstairs on to my desk (where it rightfully belongs anyway), got my couches, tables and other furniture from the genrev office and fixed my first floor into a pseudo-living room. i got the extra "sometimes-working-sometimes-not" 27 inch tv from the family room and placed it in there too along with my gigantic pillows.

of course, i also spiced my room up with my countless pictures and frames, small sentimental collections, my boxes of cds and dvds, books (including my calvin and hobbes collection), yada, yada, yada...

man, don't i seem like one of those guys from queer eye? oh well... bottom line is, it's organized, it's clean and it's cool. i'm lovin' my room right now. so deal...

brothers...

2005-11-21T13:42:00.000+08:00

brothers...

mix, joey and i finally met up today.

i was a bit anxious, yes, but as the time we spent together went, it turned out that there wasn't anything for me to be worried about after all. needless to say, it went pretty well.

as i mentioned in my earlier post, mix arrived earlier than expected, catching me still drooling on my pillow. so after i brought him home, i went home to dress up and then picked joey up (which, i swear, took me an hour to do... damn the UP traffic!). when i finally got to his house, he invited me to go inside and meet his mom. reluctantly, i obliged and was greeted not just by his mom but also his whole clan! grandma, tita, tito, pinsans, etc. man, was i freakin' out inside! all eyes were on me and i wasn't sure what they were thinking. geez. i felt like a freak show... it was so awkward!

anyhow, after what seemed like an eternity, we finally left their house and went on to pick mix up. of course i had to gas the car up first. i explained to joey that if i didn't, mix would blow my head off. heehee. after gassing the car up we went straight to mix's house where he and joey laid eyes and met each other for the first time.

*tear*

t'was cool actually, there wasn't any of those awkward silences at all. we then went on our way to pancake house katipunan. of course it's a given that we ordered and ate and talked and all that, so i won't bother writing about those stuff anymore. it was just so surreal that we were having our first meal together with our long lost little brother that mix and i had never met until this week. after our brunch, mix and joey both went out for a couple of smokes. i purposely volunteered to stay inside and pay for the bill. i wanted them to have some alone time together to talk and get to know each other. and they did. it was awesome to see them together talking and getting along so darn well.

*tear*

after a while, they came back in and we took our stuff and went out. as i waited for danielle to drive by with the cam that i was borrowing to at least have our first pic together, they smoked a couple of sticks and chatted even more (about what, i have no idea). when dani finally arrived (after what seemed like forever), we exchanged cordial "hi there" smiles with her and tito tats and got the cam. then off we went to the lina's house. ceres was the designated photographer. hehehe. it was a good thing, ceres had her mini dv cam with her, isel's damn camera wouldn't work. then came our first ever pic together as brothers.

*tear*

so after taking our first ever pic together (where joey also met his cousins, pipo and cer for the first time), we then went to mix's pad where we hung out, talked, and gave our kuya some "love" advice... hahaha... geez. mikki was pretty off that day not to mention extra high-strung. i guess he was tired from work, so i just told joey to be patient with mix and that he wasn't normally like that. joey didn't even care... he was just so happy and caught up with the fact that he was actually with his brothers. i guess so were all of us.

*tear*

at about 2 pm, we had to leave (since joey had a soccer game at dlsu at 3 and i had to go to the ecr to get my stuff from the genrev hq). we drove joey to the lrt station and reluctantly said our goodbyes, did our manly, brotherly hugs and promised to meet up again sometime very soon. so that's the story.

i don't really have any profound insights or some thought provoking realizations about our rendezvous and i know that this entry has no sense of coherence at all, just thoughts mentioned in chronological order (sans any creative mumbo jumbos...), but i just can't help but be thankful and happy that joey's in our life. in my life. who could've thought that the little brother that i'd been looking for for the past 10 years would actually be hanging out with both of his kuyas? looking at mikki and the way he acted towards joey was also definitely something. i don't really know how to articulate it, but i know that he knew that joey knew that all of three of us knew that everything was cool and that everything was gonna be okay. there wasn't really anything that needed to be said. we just knew.

we were happy. we were together. and we were... nay... are brothers. i guess miracles still do happen.

mikki was early...

2005-11-19T09:11:00.000+08:00

mikki was early...

it's 9:11 am. i just woke up.

i'm still pretty tired and groggy from last night's movie shooting (which finished at about 2 am) in pampanga with the naima boys, and needless to say, i got home pretty late. although i must commend jr for pulling off that impressive 45 minute drive from san fernando to xavierville. i'm sure he was breaking a few traffic laws while doing so, but i never really got to witness it since i was sleeping the entire ride. oh well...

anyway, mikki and i will be having our first brother get-together with joey today and i'm pretty stoked (and nervous) to say the least. i'm sure it's all gonna go well, but still, there's that pessimist in me somewhere inside that scares the crap out of me by running worst case scenarios about our long overdue reunion in my head... over and over again. damn those scenarios.

however, a peculiar thing happened just now that sort of made my day a little brighter. mikki was early. not that it's a big deal and all that (maybe it is), but i just wasnt expecting him to be the one making me kulit about our schedule in meeting up with joey. we agreed last night on 9:30 am being our rendezvous time. he would drop me the car, and i would pick joey up and so on. he came at 9:00 am... half an hour earlier... i was still sleeping.

i'm still a bit rattled right now (the kind you get when you are suddenly forced out of deep slumber) but, nevertheless, pleasantly surprised. i thought i was the only one in my family who was excited and anxious to get in touch and reunite with joey... at most, i feared, mikki and dad were just a bit curious but more of indifferent to the news. But mikki being early dashed those fears (at least for his end) and made me happy that i wasnt the only one longing for a reconnection with my long lost little brother. thank god for that.

now, its getting a bit late and i have to get dress up and pick joey up by 10:00 am. im still a bit anxious about how things will go, but it's a good thing mikki was early... and seemingly excited (he was a bit pushy that i hurry up). at least now i know that i'm not the only one.

so much has happened...

2005-11-18T05:15:00.000+08:00

so much has happened...

i can't believe it's actually been 5 months since the last time i posted an entry here. well, i guess for the past 2 or so months, i've been rather busy fussing over my multiply site. but nevertheless, it's been a long time... and to think so much has already happened since. i'll try my best to recount everything that's transpired since my last entry (or at least the ones i wanna put here) in my succeeding entries...

it's just that i've done so many things, including meeting my long lost younger brother, something that i've been dreaming of for the longest time, for the first time... since then. moreover, i've met so many great people, had deep and penetrating conversations and gotten close to a few of them as well. sadly, i've also seemingly drifted away (whether deliberately or not) from a few old ones too. there were so many firsts, so many lasts (possibly), so many highs, so many lows, so many moments of confusion, so many times of clarity... yada, yada, yada... that it confuses me and leaves me not knowing where and how to start. oh well... "one step at a time" is always a good and reliable plan, so i guess that's what i'll do so as to not overwhelm myself. i just have this tendency to want to do everything.. talk about everything... think about everything at the same time that it just leaves me paralyzed and not able to do anything at all (see what i mean... my point exactly)... tsk tsk tsk...

pipes just called and he's dropping by in a few... which means, if i want this blog of mine to remain a secret (at least it's url), then i better publish this as soon as i can and hide... hehehe...

anyway... here's a pic for ya'll (whoever "ya'll" actually are) that sorta defines where i am now... spreading and stretching my wings, trying and learning to fly...

my little brother... obviously from another mother...

2005-06-06T05:23:00.000+08:00

my little brother... obviously from another mother...

i just love this little boy to bits...

i used to work here...

2005-05-31T23:43:00.000+08:00

i used to work here...

it finally hit the fan. thankfully, it didn't make as much of a mess as i thought it would.

after a year of doing pseudo-volunteer work at springs... work which, i must admit, was oftentimes fun and enjoyable, but nevertheless left me strangled and stressed... i've finally been let go.

it's no secret that i wasn't happy there. so naturally, in the latter weeks of my work, i was totally drained and was just waiting for things to reach a messy apex... either through my own volition or through that of springs'. springs moved first... so yeah.

melancholy is my state for the moment. i'm both relieved yet anxious. although, i guess, this has been what i was longing for, i was hoping for things to have gone better. then again, it didn't turn out as bad as i thought.

sigh...

what's next? i really don't know. hopefully He'll work things out unto good.

sneakers...

2005-04-11T05:07:00.001+08:00

sneakers...

high school graduates at last...

2005-04-04T14:56:00.000+08:00

high school graduates at last...

i can't believe it! after all these years, we've finally made it...

ten years...

2005-03-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

ten years...

... is too long. it's almost been 15. i miss my cousin alan.

they found me...

2005-03-17T07:27:00.000+08:00

they found me...

isabel...

cer...

bulit...

dani...

no one was supposed to know. but they found me...

argh.

gotta find a way to escape...

beach memories...

2005-03-08T05:08:00.000+08:00

beach memories...

sigh... i wanna go back...

i dream...

2005-03-08T01:42:00.000+08:00

i dream...

needless to say, i dream a lot about my life.

i dream of travelling the world the way i used to. i dream about going to the perfect beach. i dream of being able to live there. i dream of getting a job i really love doing. i dream of getting my own car of my choice. i dream of starting my own business. i dream of that venture being successful. i dream of being able to sing my heart out for a crowd of thousands. i dream of them being eager to hear me sing.

i dream of getting rid of my past. i dream of being confident about my future. i dream of having people no longer see me as a screw-up. i dream of having people actually be proud of me. i dream of having people like me. i dream of not even having to try. i dream of someday being able to live without any masks. i dream of, someday, not being ashamed of who i am.

i dream of having friends who will stick to me despite of who i really am inside. i dream of having friends who would love to spend time with me as much as i do love to spend time with them. i dream of having a dad at home. i dream of having a mom who cares. i dream of having an older brother i look up to. i dream of having a younger brother who will see me as his hero. i dream of having a complete family. i dream of having a happy home.

i dream of meeting the girl who will take my breath away. i dream i will take hers away as well. i dream of being able to love her with all that i am. i dream of having her love me the same way i love her. i dream of having her marry me. i dream of us always being in love. i dream of us having the most beautiful and adorable kids. i dream of being an awesome dad who they would love and be proud of.

i dream of someday meeting my Creator face to face. i dream of Him holding me safe in His arms. I dream of Him loving me just for me. I dream of staying like this forever.

i dream... so much.

makes me wonder how much of these dreams will actually become reality.

hmmm...

2005-03-06T16:21:00.000+08:00

hmmm...

i'm not really the blogging type.
although i do like to write.
i'm not really sure what i'm gonna do with this blog.
but we'll see.
i just might get the hang of this...